IL SERVIZIO BUONO
This summer, something happened at my parents’ house in Italy that reminded me of something I’ve always loved about the way my family welcomes guests, ospiti, into our home.
One of my closest friends from New Jersey happened to be traveling through the Brescia area with her partner.
She was only going to be there for a couple of days, so obviously I said:
“Venite a cena da noi!”
Very simple.
Immediately, Mamma started thinking about the table.
Not because my parents are particularly formal. Actually, quite the opposite. We’ve always used the beautiful things we have at home. Nothing is really there just to be looked at.
But when someone comes over, especially someone you care about, there’s always that little extra attention.
Si mettono le cose belle e si cucinano cose super buone!
It’s a way of making someone feel special.
So suddenly Mamma and I were discussing the tablecloth.
“Quale mettiamo?”
“Questa?”
“Mmm… no. L’altra è più bella.”
Okay.
Then came the glasses.
The water glasses had to match, obviously. Then the wine glasses.
“Mettiamo questi.”
“Ma questi vanno bene.”
“Sì, ma quelli sono più belli.”
Fair enough.
Then the plates, the serving dishes, the wooden boards for the antipasto.
“Usa questi taglieri.”
“Ma perché? Questi vanno benissimo.”
“Laura… usa quelli.”
Va bene, Mamma.
I was laughing through the whole thing because I knew exactly what she was doing.
It wasn’t about making everything perfect. It was about saying, without actually saying it: we’re happy you’re here.
So we put out the beautiful things.
And of course, because we’re Italian, putting out the beautiful things also means putting out approximately twice the amount of food anyone could possibly need.
My dad was the one in charge of the menu.
“Facciamo anche un altro tagliere? Ho preso il prosciutto d’oca!”
“Abbiamo abbastanza.”
“Sì, però…”
And there it is.
The Italian però.
The beginning of every unnecessary but absolutely delicious addition to the table.
My friend, meanwhile, is one of my closest friends.
She’s not exactly the kind of person who’s going to sit politely in the living room waiting to be served.
She’s the kind of friend who walks into the kitchen, pours herself a glass of wine, asks what you’re doing and starts helping.
Which, personally, I love.
At one point she started coming into the kitchen while we were in the middle of cooking.
“Laura, ma c’è un casino qua!”
“Mamma, va bene!”
The grill was going, things were on the counter, everyone was moving around.
Normal cucina chaos.
But Mamma e Papa’ still wanted her to be an ospite.
“Sit down, have some wine. Relax. We’ll take care of you, ci pensiamo noi!”
Of course, that lasted approximately five minutes.
Because once we all sat down, started eating, drinking and talking, everything became completely natural.
Dinner was wonderful. Antipasti that could have fed the whole neighborhood, pasta fresca, grigliata mista, verdure e tagliere di frutta. We laughed like crazy. The beautiful table slowly started looking like a table where people had actually had dinner — which is exactly how I like it.
And then my friend stood up and started collecting some plates.
Mamma immediately: “No no no! Non farla sparecchiare!”
“Mamma, vuole aiutare.”
“Ma è ospite! Adesso la facciamo anche lavare i piatti?!”
And that was it. Che ridere! We all started laughing.
Because by that point, nobody really felt like an ospite anymore.
And at one point Mamma looked at me and said: “Ma quanto è carina la tua amica. Sembra di essere a casa, in famiglia.”
And that, for me, was the whole evening.
We had started by choosing the beautiful glasses and the right tablecloth because we wanted our guests to feel special.
And somehow, the nicest thing that happened was that by the end of dinner they didn’t feel like guests at all.
They felt like family.
Esattamente questo is what I love about having people over.
I love a beautiful table. I love taking out the things we love. I love thinking about the food, the wine, the flowers, the little details.
Because those details are another way of telling someone: I’m happy you’re here.
Eravamo tutti a casa.
And maybe that’s what the good plates were for all along.
Ciao,
Laura